So you’re engaged.  Congratulations.  After the dust settles on your Instagram and TikTok accounts, get ready to start fielding questions about who’s on the guest list, where you’re getting married and when. As you begin to plan, a few things to keep in mind:

1. As Steve Jobs so eloquently put it, “Don’t let the opinions of others drown out your own inner voice.”   Friends and family will have lots of advice and opinions.  Don’t allow your wedding to become hijacked by someone else s vision. That includes your future mother in law, best friend, boss, event planner or any vendor for that matter.  Hire people based on their expertise and ability to listen to your ideas. Then listen, learn, weigh your options and form your own opinions.

2. ” You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”   Adaptability is key. Be open to possibilities, including reducing your guest count for the right venue or selecting an alternate vendor when the one you had your heart set on is already booked.  Be open to alternate dates, venues and vendors that you may not have previously considered.

3. “That which yields is not always weak”  Take the time to talk about your priorities and have an open, honest dialogue about budget and expectations at the beginning of the process. Speak with your fiance and any family members who are contributing to your wedding.  You may not like it, but there could come a time during the planning process when you need to compromise.  That’s not always a bad thing. Planning your wedding is microcosm for your life; how you communicate now is a reflection of how you will work together in your marriage.

4. “Step away from social media”  It’s easy (and tempting) to spend all your free time trolling your social media accounts, searching for ideas or obsessing over details from the latest celebrity wedding. We get it. But spend too much time down the rabbit hole and you could lose your way.  Make enough of a selection to communicate your basic vision, and then allow yourself the luxury to evolve the design into something that is uniquely yours.  No one should be able to step into someone else’s wedding, and you don’t want anyone else stepping into yours.

5. “It’s so much more than just one day.  Cherish the journey.”  Planning a wedding is a journey of self discovery.  Enjoy the ride.  And when it’s over (in a blink), you’ve got the rest of your lives to look forward to.  So keep it in perspective.